Archive for September 2013
I have been meaning to write something down here for ages, but then I sit down and watch 23 episodes of New Girl instead. It’s a really specific type of ennui that I suffer from.
This is what has been going on in my life lately:
1. My thesis is still not done. The ridiculous part is that it IS done. Paradoxical, no? A few minor tweaks is all that’s needed, but for some reason NOW is the time I feel most paralyzed by fear and self-loathing. I was supposed to send something to my adviser a while ago and I have never missed a deadline before, but now I am afraid to open my school email account in case ze has randomly decided to be all quick on the uptake and berate me for being late. I am so so afraid to do 2 more hours of work and hit send. Because this is supposed to be the end and I fear/know that ze will write back with 800 more stupid corrections that I cannot possibly do, or else I will do them because I’m a chump, rinse lather repeat, and it will never be cleared for eventual submission.
2. Teaching has started back up again, and my students are pushing my fucking limits daily. The good part of this is that if I am ever invited to a cocktail party, I will have loads of hilarious and witty anecdotes with which to dazzle city council members and local parliamentary representatives. But in the meantime it just makes me feel depressed. Per esempio, today I received an emailed assignment (which isn’t permitted btw). The email had no subject line or actual text when I opened it, nothing like “Hey Prof UofL, I know emailed submissions aren’t normally accepted but my grandma’s chia pet died suddenly this morning and since she is currently on a tour of paleolithic era gravesites in Burma, I have to make all of the arrangements myself. I hope you understand and I apologize profusely for the inconvenience.” No, it was just a blank email with an attached document titled “Fuck.”
I’ll share some of the more ludicrous stories here whenever I run out of New Girl episodes to watch.