roasting marshmellows in phd hell

Academic Coworkers with Horrible Attitudes: A Rant.

with 3 comments

As I have written about before, luckily most of my colleagues are intelligent, kind, helpful people.  (And I am very aware that this probably has

My coworker does not like foamy lattes.

My coworker does not like foamy lattes.

something to do with the fact that we are in the basement of the Ivory Tower.)

There is one fine gem of a person, whoever, who has tried to make my life hell in a very passive aggressive way.  It all kicked off once upon a time when ze asked if I would switch courses with hir a few days before the new semester started.  And since I had never taught that class before or read the book, I said that I didn’t feel comfortable taking on all that work at the last minute.  Since then, this person has tried to make my professional life miserable.

I don’t know how this person decided that they have any professional oversight over me.  I think it has something to do the fact that I am younger and have kind of an ‘innocent’ appearance.  I have the ideal face for a Mormon Missionary.  Probably 63% less people would slam their door in my face because I permanently look like my cat is stuck up a tree or I am about to cry, despite the fact that I am a karateman on the inside.  Also, regardless of the crazy shit that goes on at Montyburns Inc, I still have a pretty good time most days, having interesting conversations from my other coworkers and learning cool shit from them.  This person gets crotchety at the sounds of laughter and fun.  Huffing, puffing, eye-rolling…ya know, the maturity as a cartoon wolf.  And  I think probably some of it is jealousy that I have some academic ‘credentials’, although us cool kids on the internet know what a load of shit this really is.

Anyways.  The reason for this rant du jour is that Prof. Fun Hata emailed Monty Burns’ next in line, complaining that the reason so many of our students do poorly in the required lower-level liberal arts courses is because one of the other instructors (moi) isn’t teaching it the same way ze is.  Because clearly there is only one way to teach this shit, and it’s with the least amount of imagination possible.

Also, this poor performance has nothing to do with the fact that our population of students are massively unprepared for college (especially the particular entry level classes I teach), and if they do submit “work” ,  it’s on a 4th grade level.

Dude is an asshole.  I hate being around bad vibes like that, but the more I tried to get this person’s approval, the more they seemed to delight in hating me.

So I stopped trying to please hir.  This person’s malice should be of no importance to me, though I admit that I am actually a warm blooded human being who likes to snuggle with puppies and watch Julie Andrews movies.  And for delicate souls like myself, it doesn’t feel good when people don’t like you, even if they themselves are pricks.  Probably Derrida has written some bullshit theory about this.  I ignore this person now but will hold the door for them, as I don’t like to be a total asshole.

But emailing Dr. University of Phoenix Online to complain about me, when ze has never stepped foot inside my classroom to see what I actually do?

I’m having a tough time remaining dude-like about this.

3 Responses

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  1. Dude, I’m so sorry you’re dealing with dickery like this, but “Dr. University of Phoenix Online” made me laugh like a drain.


    March 9, 2013 at 11:00

    • it’s funny cause its true!


      March 9, 2013 at 18:40

      • I love this title “Dr University of Phoenix Online” …I’m going to have to remember that one!


        March 10, 2013 at 21:31

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