roasting marshmellows in phd hell

Awkward Student Interactions

with 4 comments

scene: disgustingly cramped on-campus cafeteria.  Home to dirty coffee machine, $8 sandwiches, filthy floors.  Cashiers constantly watch you like you’re stealing something, and sometimes you are, because these tiny little thefts are ‘reparations’.

I fill my cup with liquid poison when a student I’ve never seen before in my life approaches me.

Random Student: Hey, are you working today?

Me:  panicking that I don’t recognize this person, then realize they’re not some anonymous student of mine that sits in the back of the room with sunglasses on, but a complete stranger.  Yeah.

RS: oh that’s good.. cause I want a coffee and I have no idea how to work this machine.  Can you help me?

Me: (laughs that I am mistaken for a cafeteria worker in my ‘teaching outfit’.) um sure, it’s your lucky day, I’ll make you a coffee. (sticks cup under spigot, presses down.)  Here you go.

RS: so what’s your name…….(grossly suggestive eyebrow raise)

Me: Professor University of Lies.

RS: What??? professor??? oh shit!!! so you have your phd and stuff????

Me: No.  (cries)


The whole exchange was kind of hilarious.  Unlike some of my coworkers, I usually never get hit on.  But to get hit on and mistaken for a cafeteria worker and be reminded of my phd less status in less than a minute was a triple play of awesome.

Please Zeus I hope this person isn’t in my class next semester.


Written by universityoflies

December 13, 2012 at 03:58

4 Responses

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  1. Priceless….


    December 13, 2012 at 10:33

    • yeah I don’t know why mastercard hasn’t made a commercial about this very scenario!


      December 13, 2012 at 13:42

  2. This is truly priceless!


    February 4, 2013 at 01:56

    • thanks, anthea. thankfully I haven’t noticed this same person in the back of my class this semster.


      February 4, 2013 at 13:37

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