Awkward Student Interactions
scene: disgustingly cramped on-campus cafeteria. Home to dirty coffee machine, $8 sandwiches, filthy floors. Cashiers constantly watch you like you’re stealing something, and sometimes you are, because these tiny little thefts are ‘reparations’.
I fill my cup with liquid poison when a student I’ve never seen before in my life approaches me.
Random Student: Hey, are you working today?
Me: panicking that I don’t recognize this person, then realize they’re not some anonymous student of mine that sits in the back of the room with sunglasses on, but a complete stranger. Yeah.
RS: oh that’s good.. cause I want a coffee and I have no idea how to work this machine. Can you help me?
Me: (laughs that I am mistaken for a cafeteria worker in my ‘teaching outfit’.) um sure, it’s your lucky day, I’ll make you a coffee. (sticks cup under spigot, presses down.) Here you go.
RS: so what’s your name…….(grossly suggestive eyebrow raise)
Me: Professor University of Lies.
RS: What??? professor??? oh shit!!! so you have your phd and stuff????
Me: No. (cries)
The whole exchange was kind of hilarious. Unlike some of my coworkers, I usually never get hit on. But to get hit on and mistaken for a cafeteria worker and be reminded of my phd less status in less than a minute was a triple play of awesome.
Please Zeus I hope this person isn’t in my class next semester.